Best Funny Jokes

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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.  The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"


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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."  Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"  "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."  "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

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Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

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Two old men hobble into the pub.  One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’  ‘All right,’ says the other.  ‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’



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